Quotes I Like*
CONgress (n) - Opposite of PROgress
*Your mileage may vary. Some quotes are puns, or require historical or technical literacy to appreciate. If you miss the humor, please re-read the Internet and then try again.
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A spread of torpedoes flies from the Enterprise toward the alien vessel. Just before each torpedo makes contact, however, the alien vessel dances out of its way. The torpedoes continue on their original trajectory in infinite bliss, unaware of the blatant violation of the physical laws of the universe they just witnessed.
Spock: "Total miss. The alien's weapon is charging again."
The forecastle of the alien vessel glows cherry red. You yell "Shields up!!!" just before a blast of energy engulfs your ship. As you gasp for air, the roar of escaping atmosphere filling your ears, you hear the Captain of the Belvedere screaming over the intercom: "You fool! I'll have you court-marshalled!"
It is the last sound that you ever hear...