Quotes I Like*
G=Guns, PG=Plenty of Guns, PG-13=More than 12 guns...
*Your mileage may vary. Some quotes are puns, or require historical or technical literacy to appreciate. If you miss the humor, please re-read the Internet and then try again.
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The large black eyes of the alien narrow. "What is plague?" You respond, "A plague is sickness among a large group of living creatures. Many people on the planet we call Beta Ceti Three have Denebian Swine Flu, which gives them reddish welts shaped like pig heads on their skin and makes their hair fall out. We are carrying drugs to cure them."
The alien peers at you intently. "You can cure this hair-fall-out disease?" "We can cure Denebian Swine Flu, at least, and also prevent anyone else from contracting it."
The alien disappears from the viewscreen, and you here hurried conversation in the background. The universal translator is unable to decode the muffled noise, emitting instead a sound like sandpaper rubbing on glass. A brief moment later the alien reappears.
Alien: "You will give us this drug. Now. Use your transpourtier."