Quotes I Like*
He's a guy with no wife expectancy.
*Your mileage may vary. Some quotes are puns, or require historical or technical literacy to appreciate. If you miss the humor, please re-read the Internet and then try again.
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Jamie opened her eyes and blinked into the darkness. She heard Lucy's soft snoring above the gentle patter of rain on the window. Although it was autumn ("Gerbils can SMELL such things", Jamie thought smugly), outdoors the air was still comfortable to a creature of fur such as herself. At least it had been a couple of days ago, when Lucy had taken her to the playground. If only I could be back outside NOW, Jamie moped.
And then, an idea sprang into Jamie's little head, so strong that she knew it was hopeless to resist. Why not leave the cage and just go? Of course, she had gotten into trouble in the past for leaving her cage unattended, and Lucy had gone to great lengths to try to keep her in it. Not that she'd ever succeeded, of course. Humans just can't look at things from the proper rodent perspective.
Jamie stretched and yawned as only a tiny ball of fur can - with jaws opened impossibly wide, like she was trying to swallow an apple whole. Jamie nibbled on a small pecan to sate her appetite, drank some water from her bottle, then meandered over to the cage door to inspect Lucy's latest attempt to curb Jamie's curiosity.
"What's this?", Jamie thought. "No wire, no lock, just the normal door latch." Jamie frowned a little frown, then moved from side to side searching for the catch. Nothing. Jamie reached up and, with a little wiggle only gerbils can manage, flipped the door open.
"So simple," thought Jamie, "so simple. Maybe Lucy has given up and admitted I'm just too smart for..." Jamie was so enthralled in her revelry that she almost stepped on the black mat that Lucy had placed just outside her cage. Like the automatic door at the supermarket, the mat was connected to a beeper which would sound an alarm as soon as Jamie stepped on it. Jamie strained with squinted eye. "Maybe, just maybe, I can leap over the mat to the table beyond without touching it. Or maybe not."
"On the other hand," Jamie thought, "I may be able to crawl up on the roof of my cage and down the other side. Maybe. Of course, if I fall, I'll land right on the mat - and nothing good could come of THAT!"