Quotes I Like*
Don't put a question mark where God puts a period.
*Your mileage may vary. Some quotes are puns, or require historical or technical literacy to appreciate. If you miss the humor, please re-read the Internet and then try again.
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Jamie climbed into the damp towels and began to roll and tumble with all the energy her small body could muster. Sometimes her feet would become tangled, and she would topple off the pile and onto the floor of the cabinet. But she eagerly jumped back in, again and again, until she lay exhausted and panting under a yellow washcloth.
Suddenly, the cabinet door swung open and the towels, with Jamie in the middle, were scooped up and carried through the house. She tried to climb to the top of the pile to see what was happening, but the towels moved and twisted, and soon she wasn't even sure which way was up.
At last, Jamie felt herself drop onto something hard and dark, and everything was still. Her struggles to climb to the top of the pile grew more desparate as she heard, then felt, water spraying over her. Water touched her tail, then slowly rose over her feet. With a sudden flash of insight, she realized she was in the washing machine with a load of laundry. She was going to drown!
At last she struggled to the surface, the water still nipping at her toes. The lid on the washing machine had been lowered, and the darkness felt like a too-small cage to Jamie. She had just began to climb the walls when the drum leapt into action, spinning back and forth and sloshing frothy waves over her tired body. Her feet lost their grip and Jamie fell into the stormy waters.
She tried to scream, but a wet hand towel covered her face and pushed her under the water. She struggled to the surface again, only to be slapped with a wave and driven back beneath the surface. "One more try" thought Jamie grimly; she gritted her teeth and struggled back to the surface, clinging to a sock that for the moment seemed content to float between waves.
Jamie was wet, tired, and cold. She thought of her nice, warm cage, her dry bed, and the small pile of raisins Lucy had given her the night before. "Lucy was right," thought Jamie sadly, "I shouldn't have escaped from my cage. This house just isn't safe for a little rodent like me." The sock began to sink, and Jamie was out of ideas.
"Lucy, you PROMISED me that you would put your clothes in the hamper when you took them off. Please try to be more careful." Much to Jamie's relief, the storm in the washing machine stopped as quickly as it began, and the lid lifted to admit dazzling light. She looked up to see Lucy and her mother staring at her in amazement.
"You look like a drowned rat!" exclaimed Lucy, lifting Jamie out of the water and drying her with a dish towel. "How did you ever wind up in the washing machine."
"It's a long story," thought Jamie, snuggling into the warmth. "Can I have my raisins and bed now, please?"
After nibbling a few raisins, Jamie crawled wearily into bed. She yawned, curled up in a ball, and thought "Drowned rat, indeed!" as she drifted off to sleep.