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Quotes I Like*

He broke into song because he couldn't find the key.

*Your mileage may vary. Some quotes are puns, or require historical or technical literacy to appreciate. If you miss the humor, please re-read the Internet and then try again.

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A Walk in the Woods ogre_room


You are in a dark, musty room. In one corner, a pile of broken roots and pebbles makes a form reminiscent of a bed (not a very comfortable bed, you think!). A hole dug into the floor in the south corner holds muddy water, and although you are thirsty, you can't stomach the thought of drinking THAT.

You see a small passageway leading to the west. Emerging from that passageway is the largest, hariest almost-human you have ever seen. He (it?) has fangs, huge paws, bulging hair-covered muscles, and eyes that seem to glow in the dim light. Your mind pegs him immediately as an ogre - although you always believed ogres to be the stuff of fairy tales.

The ogre growls menacingly at you, and you decide he doesn't like visitors.

Enter the western passageway.

Enter the northern passageway.

Climb onto the ogre's back.

Attack the ogre.

Feed the apple to the ogre.

Look around again.

The ogre growls menacingly and eyes you hungrily. You have an apple.

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