Quotes I Like*
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.
*Your mileage may vary. Some quotes are puns, or require historical or technical literacy to appreciate. If you miss the humor, please re-read the Internet and then try again.
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The night air is still chilly, so you examine the gas heater. It is very old, but perhaps safe. You carefully strike a match near the gas jets, and gently turn the valve. A soft hiss fills the room, but the gas doesn't burn. Annoyed, you hold the flame closer, silently urging the heater to ignite. Without warning, the heater explodes in a fireball, throwing you across the room. A roar fills your ears. You shake your head and open your eyes, squinting against the brightness of a two meter long tongue of flame extending from the valve to the wall. You feel a wave of panic rise in your throat - if the wall catches fire, the house will burn to the ground!