Quotes I Like*
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's printed on.
*Your mileage may vary. Some quotes are puns, or require historical or technical literacy to appreciate. If you miss the humor, please re-read the Internet and then try again.
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You creep slowly toward the living room, hoping that the strains of "Nearer My God to Thee" drown out the creaking of the floorboards beneath your trembling feet. You look frantically about, but see nothing that might serve as a weapon.
You carefully peer around the corner and into the living room, straining to see the piano. You make out a shadow floating to and fro in front of the keyboard, dancing this way and that in morbid glee. A breeze hits your face, blowing through the front door frame...
CRAAAAASH!!! As if in slow motion, you lose your balance and fall into the room, knocking over a small table you hadn't noticed before. The piano stops playing as you frantically fumble for the penlight and shine it toward the now-quiet piano. The creepy musician has vanished (aren't ghosts afraid of light?).
Then you notice the ragged curtains in the window next to the piano, blowing in the breeze through the front door frame. As you look carefully, you also notice that the player piano scroll has moved, tearing up cobwebs in its wake. The rusty mechanism must have been jarred loose by your movements in the house; perhaps you are no nearer to God than before.
The living room smells musty; dust is everywhere.